Homesickness
As the semester begins, your student will be thrust into a number of activities. The first two weeks will be consumed with finding classes, attending meetings, getting to know roommates and shopping for additional items — simply getting adjusted. The conversations with parents usually consist of “I need this …” or “I didn’t know that….”
The next three or four weeks will present more difficult challenges. Reality sets in and your student realizes that this is not summer camp; he/she is here for good. During this time, your student will begin to experience a number of emotions. Homesickness is one word to describe the plethora of emotions associated with your student’s separation from his/her home base.* Commuter students and residential students go through a period of homesickness during September. These emotions range from feeling lonely because no one understands to elation after receiving a good grade.
Although your student may not say that he/she is homesick, adjusting to a new environment can make any student miss the old, familiar environment. For example, the lack of privacy in residence halls can cause students to yearn for their own space back home, or entering a class where the faces are very diverse can make students feel like they do not fit in. Your student may begin to miss his/her high school friends. During this time, you may receive some mixed messages from your student. You may receive frantic telephone calls, pleas to come home or requests to transfer schools. Some students call home only once during the entire month. What should you do?
- Don’t panic. Listen carefully during those frantic telephone calls and do not panic when your student does not return your call immediately. Do not take immediate action on any request from your student or an assumption that you may have. Your goal during this month is to keep your student calm.
- Break down problems. Break down big problems into small manageable issues. Help your student to address each issue with a task. Your student will feel more in control and confident.
For example:
Student: I hate this place; I don’t know anyone.
Parent: I see. What events are happening this week? Wow, there’s a block party; you love outdoor events. Why don’t you attend, I’m sure you will meet someone. Does that sound like a plan? Great! Remember, take everything one day at a time and things will come together.
- Be flexible. Do not require your student to call bi-weekly or to eat dinner with the family every night for the first few weeks. In order to feel connected, some students may need to stay involved on campus. Some students feel that the best course of action is to talk to people at home as little as possible. Allow your student to lead this transition period. In fact, encourage your student to have dinner and attend events with other students.
- Don’t become frustrated. Your student may call one night and say that he/she is coming home, this place is not for him/her, and the next night tell you that everything is great — this is the best decision he/she has ever made. Relax; you are the only person that your student feels comfortable venting to during this month. Just say, “Great honey, I’m glad things are well.” Because you did not panic during the first call and book a flight for your student to come home, you will be able to ride this emotional roller coaster with ease.
- Send gifts. A package or letter from Mom and Dad says we understand, and we love you no matter what. Visit the University Bookstore online (www.siuebookstore.com) and order a gift for your student. It will brighten his/her mood.
- Get help! If you sense that your student’s homesickness is not passing, encourage your student to speak with his/her resident assitant or call Counseling Services. Reassure your student that the University community is here to help and that he/she will not be judged or criticized.
* Letting Go. A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years. Karen Levin Coburn & Madge Lawrence Treeger
Show your support for
your student; visit SIUE
during Family Weekend
October 6-8
See below for a list of events.
Please logon to www.siue.edu/CAB/homecoming.htm for more information.
Chili Cook Off
Homecoming Soccer Game
Casino Night
Just 4 Laughs – Comedian
University Housing Trivia
SIUE Club Football
Club Football Tailgating
Sig Ep Scramble – Four Person Golf Scramble
Families, Friends, and Fun Bowling Tournament
Classic and Custom Car Show
Rock Climbing Wall
School of Business Bike Ramble
Campus Recreation 5K Poker Run
Homecoming Soccer Game
Chili Cook Off
Sunday Brunch
Published by:
SIUE Office of Student Affairs
2306 Rendleman Hall
SIUE
Edwardsville, IL 62026